Vagi-na-na-nana-na...

...say I, in reponse to the US TV network misogynists who refused to show Kotex's tampon ad for naming That Which Apparently Must Not Be Named. In a society already blinded by the, er, bleedin' obvious - peanuts 'May Contain Nuts', you know - will it take some poor soul to disastrously mistake a tampon for a Mini-Milk before we can talk about WHERE THEY ACTUALLY GO? Kotex's modified ad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRf35wCmzWw&feature=related) has purged the offending genital, while cocking a cheekily amusing snook at sanitary-product advertising conventions, but it's still caving in to the media portrayal of women's (and, increasingly, men's) need for 'protection' against the evil machinations of our own bodies. Thou shalt not sweat nor shine, and nor shalt thou smell. And verily shalt thou not admit that thou bleeds't monthly, for t'would be to state that thou art a creature foul and unsanitary. But to suggest that we need sheltering from even the naming of our bodies is something altogether more unsavoury, for of course naming is power, and if we start to say vagina, we may ultimately come to - !! - love our vaginas. Women naming and controlling their own sexuality? A fearful thing indeed... Sisters, best continue to dance in white spandex and wring out your blue-soaked sanitary towels every month...

And besides, tampons are unhealthy for both the body and the environment. I'm a Mooncup convert (http://www.mooncup.co.uk/), and recommend it not only for its safety and eco-soundness, but also for the way it visibly collects rather than discreetly absorbs. I'd been having periods for nearly twenty years before I realised that menstrual blood isn't really like blood at all, but more of a treacly, weighty mucus. Use the Mooncup, and/or tell your friends about it if you don't menstruate, and get to know what's really going into and coming out of your body. It's very cool.